there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I want her autograph on my taint
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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