if i can run in heels then i can drive
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
