On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I will pee on everything he values.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm bleeding and have questions
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
