She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
