He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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