Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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