Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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