I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Randomize
