Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
