I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
