So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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