My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
