I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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