It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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