Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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