Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he puts the penis in happiness.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
