he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
