I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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