Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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