I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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