How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
