Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
