It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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