new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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