okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
