It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
