I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
my liver is dry heaving
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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