I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
