his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
