The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
