I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
