Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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