he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
