I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
please come you make the beer taste better
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
