I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
