No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
