I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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