I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
