Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
