there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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