so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
