turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
