guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
