First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I cut my penus on the lid.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I believe in your delicious
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
