3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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