Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
