She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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