just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
