You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Alive.
So much puke
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
