Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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