So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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