brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
