you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
