dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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